I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
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