i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
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Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
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Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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