someone threw a dead crab at me
My first STD was from a foam party
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize