What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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