On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
