Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
