When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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