When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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