Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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