Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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