Sponge bath it is.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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