I wanna passion pit in your ass
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
