i was rollin on her like bob the builder
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
