your room smells of hookers.
And success
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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