If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I wish I could punch you in the face.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
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