Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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