And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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