i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I got inside last night via doggy door
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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