i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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