All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
