this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
