there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize