so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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