You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
The best revenge is premature balding
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
