Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
zippers are such a cool invention
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize