loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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