All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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