yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
