How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
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I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
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So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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