so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
