I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
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