i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You may now shotgun with the bride
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
