stop calling my apartment porn island.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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