I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
