Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
