he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
