Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
