yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
