dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
either way he was missing a nipple.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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