SEEEEXXX PLEASE
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
