and you said cock pushups were impossible
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
