plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize