I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
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