Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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