I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
