So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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