STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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