yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
