i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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