could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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