Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
