Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
