I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
i need to put some appletini on your dick
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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