I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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