did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
