i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize